Hey all.
So this may not come as a shock to you all, but I'm back in the bad place I started this blog at.
I'm starting to see all of my flaws again. I realize that no guy could ever fall in love with me because I can't even love myself right now.
I'm realizing that it shouldn't matter if a guy is falling in love with me. It should only matter if I like myself and how I feel about me. I shouldn't be so obsessed with a guy falling head over heels with me. Who cares if a guy never looks at me from across a room and smiles just because I'm smiling? I mean, who really needs a guy to look at you when you wake up and tell you that you're beautiful? I know that. But, I can't help it.
You know, I love romantic comedy movies. Even though I cry at them every time. And I have people tell me "I hate romantic comedies, they're not real. That's not real life." Why isn't it? Why can't that be real life? Why is that people say that? Maybe it's not real life because people don't want it to be. Maybe, just maybe, when you meet the right person, that's what real life becomes.
I hate this person that I'm becoming. Why am I so obsessed with falling in love? And if you're reading this, and you think that it would be a smart idea to tell me that I don't need a guy to make me happy or to just let it happen naturally and stop thinking about it so much, I would suggest not doing that. Seriously. I'm sick of people telling me that...
Anyway. That's all I have to talk about today.
I love you.
Jenny-Lynn. <3
It's not fair to say you hate yourself... you are beautiful... you are smart... and you have what it takes to get any guy you want, why? Because I listen to you tell me things and it seems like you know what you want to do with a relationship. You don't love yourself right now because no one loves you... well almost no one. I'm not going to say take your time, because, well because everyday you run out of time. I'm not going to say that you have to wait, because frankly waiting fucking sucks. I'm going to say, open your eyes, stare at yourself in the mirror, whether it be nude or not, do it, it works. Don't look at the flaws of Jenny-Lynn. Look at a strong woman, look at a woman who knows what she wants in a relationship... Know yourself before you know others, and you'll start to see that everyone else is looking not at your flaws, but at your greatness, at your power, at you...
ReplyDeleteHell, every day of my life I wish it was more like a movie. Like seriously, it should be. Why can't I have my freaking Mr. Darcy already?!?! Or my Han Solo even. UGH.
ReplyDeleteBut lovey, Eric's right you're amazing. We look at you and we don't see your flaws, we see someone who's smart, funny, witty, and a great person to be around. Only the fake people will focus on your flaws.. ones who care about you think the flaws make you more perfect.
<3