My heart will go on and on.

I've always been so obsessed with the idea of falling in love. With meeting my one and only and marrying them and staying with them until the day I die. I've made dozens and dozens of lists of traits and qualities that this man would have. He would be sexy, and he would be strong enough for the both of us. He would hold me when I cried, and he would love my laugh. He would tell me how my eyes made him melt and that when I looked at him, he could only see me, with him, forever. That he belonged to me and I to him. He would never doubt my love for him because our love would be the strongest thing either of us had ever felt. His eyes would be smoldering when he gazed at me, his copenhagen smile would knock me off my feet every time, and we would make Hollywood directors jealous with our story. He would sing to me, songs that would make me cry, he would hold me when I was cold, we would watch Star Wars together and he would understand that my obsession, as weird as it may be, makes me who I am today. He wouldn't want to change anything about me. I made these lists and after re-reading them all I realized...my dream guy is too good for me. I mean, what do I have to offer? What about me would make someone else's list? Would this guy I've been dreaming about even look twice at me if he walked past me right now? Probably not. So what would I do about that? I mean, I couldn't very well go through life knowing that the man I wanted to marry someday, whoever he was, wouldn't even give me a second glance. Lately, I've been working on myself for multiple reasons. And the more I did that, the more these lists just sort of seemed silly. I started to realize that the perfect guy wasn't going to morph from words on a page into a real being in front of me. But, I also realized, I didn't need him to. Don't get me wrong, I'm still obsessed with the idea of forever love. I always will be. I hope I never lose that. But, now I'm strong enough to live and be who I am, with or without that love. <3
I have you though, that's all that matters. I know it's been so long since we've had one of these talks, but I think about you every day. I miss you when you're not around, and I wish that just once I could hear your voice. I love you so much. I hope you know that.
Love,
Jenny-Lynn. <3