Hey guys! So, today is going to be a bit of a different blog. Not so much a rundown of my life more than kind of a response to a blog someone did about me. So, here goes.
First off, I know you have feelings for me. I have told you multiple times that the way I love you is that best friend sort of way.
Second, I know you bought me this amazing dress for my birthday. And the shoes. What I did not know was that it was just to get in my pants. I thought that you were doing it because it was my birthday and that you wanted to. And you sat right across me from me all night. He sat at the end of the table. I kissed him, yes. And yes, me and him had our falling out but, he is far from a "doucher." The fact of the matter is, if I want a physical relationship with someone, you are not the person who gets to decide whether or not I'm allowed. You're supposed to be my best friend but you have a whole lot of things to say about me when I'm not around you...
Third, I know you stuck around and cleaned up after my drunken self. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me. Again, what I didn't know was that it was all some sort of plan to get in my pants...I didn't know it was going to be thrown in my face just because you didn't get what you wanted out of the evening.
Fourth, who are you to tell me that you're the greatest guy in my life? Don't I get a say in this? You lie to me, a lot. You talk shit about me behind my back. You use when you promised me you would try to quit. And you wrote this entire blog about me while under the influence...the fact of the matter is, I've had the drama of addiction in my life for way too long and I refuse to allow myself to be pulled back into that world. I could not date you even if I did have feelings for you in that capacity, just because of your addictions. However, I don't choose who I fall for and who I don't. Unfortunately, you are not the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. We've had this conversation so many times...I thought we were finally past this. I guess we can't move past it. Maybe that's what you want. Maybe you keep throwing this in my face as a passive-aggressive way of getting rid of me. If so, it's working beautifully.
Lastly. Yes. You are the BEST FRIEND. That's what I thought we had talked about numerous times. You are my best friend. Or, I thought you were. But now I'm finding out that not only are you saying that I used you but now you're blaming me for how I feel about other people and not you. You're saying that I'm a bad person because I didn't fall in love with you the way you fell in love with me. By the way, which douchebag boyfriend humped my cousin? What the hell are you even talking about? Oh and guess what?! Those duties go with being a best friend, dude. You become the shoulder to cry on when I get hurt. That's what best friends are. I've been a shoulder for you about a million times. I don't mind it. Finding out now what you've been saying behind my back though....that may change things a bit. I think you should do some soul searching and some maturing before you talk to me again... =/
Okay guys. Thanks so much for putting up with this little response to a rant. Pretty much, it's all self-explanatory. This is just my way of reciprocating the same level of disrespect that this guy has shown me. I'm a grown person. You can come to me with any problems you have with me, to my face, and I'll respect you for it. Go behind my back to my brother, or to the internet, you can kiss that respect goodbye.
OH YEAH! And as for the guy who was staring at my ass....THAT'S WHY I PICKED THE DRESS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! I wanted to look hot. I wanted guys (especially that one) to look at me and yearn for me. That was the fucking plan. Oh well, live and learn I guess.
Okay guys! I love you guys so much and I know that this one was a bit on the negative side, but I'll be back soon with some sort of positivity. =] Love you. <3
Jenny-Lynn. <3
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