Hey guys! So. Today is already shaping up to be quite annoying. I got woken up way too early by my stupid freaking cat. Then, right as I'm falling back to sleep my dad decides he's going to start making as much noise as possible because he's awake. I'm so effing tired.
The past couple days have been somewhat ... interesting. Kinda hanging out with this new guy. We'll see how that goes.
Had a fight with Justin. Justin was supposed to be my best friend. But, he fell in love with me and when he realized that I wasn't going to have those same feelings for him, he got really upset. Understandably. However then he started taking it out on me. He just started being a jerk and saying really rude things to me. He was saying even ruder things behind my back though. I saw a blog he posted about me and I just snapped. What kind of best friend goes behind someone's back and trashes them on a blog? He started telling my brother that he felt like I had used him because he bought me a dress, some shoes, and "all my birthday drinks" and I hadn't talked to him since. Which, when he said this it had been about 24 hours since I last spoken to him and that was only because I was still too drunk to form a coherent thought. Also in his blog, and in our conversation, he started trashing this guy that I had been talking to. The one from the few previous blogs that I was really starting to like but he told me we weren't serious relationship material. He said that the guy was a douchebag for not wanting to be with me. I couldn't disagree more. This guy is actually quite nice and I still hang out with him. I wasn't in love with the guy, I just liked him. When he told me that I wasn't what he was looking for in a long term girlfriend, those feelings subsided. Now, him and I are just friends and I'm find with that. The crazy part though is that Justin didn't pay for all of my birthday drinks. He was going to, and he said he would multiple times. But, when the bill came, his card was declined. And guess who stepped in to pay for the rest of it? Yeah, that "doucher" guy he's been trashing.
I think that the biggest reason I can't deal with any of this though is that its a constant self-pity party with Justin. It's constantly "oh look at me, I'm sad" and "my life is terrible" and "no one will ever love me." Yes, I know, as a best friend, I am supposed to be there for him and listen to him and all that. And I don't mind talking someone I care about off a ledge every so often. But, come on. Every conversation? It's annoying. It doesn't even seem genuine. It just seems like he does a lot of it for the attention.
I know it seems like I'm being pretty hypocritical right now. Pretty much airing my grievances on a blog which is kind of what started the fight to begin with. But, I'm now. I've said all of this to his face and he knows exactly how I feel. I'm just tired of being pushed around because I'm too empathetic. I start feeling bad for people and understanding the feeling of not being good enough and I get taken advantage of. I sit there and talk to this guy about his problems every day and hear his talk about how low he is. Every day. For hours. I can't have a conversation with him about my life because if I say that my day was anything better than terrible, I get this whole "pity me" routine even harder. About how lucky I am to have a good day and he wishes he could. Come on man...I just .... I need some happier friends I guess.
I'm not cutting this guy out of my life completely, not yet anyway. I just need some space for now. Some time to not worry about his "issues" and crap.
No joke, just last night, he asks me about this new guy. After I told him what was going on, which is literally just us hanging out and enjoying our time together for now, I ended up having to get off the computer. But, instead of saying, "okay I'll talk to you later." He says, "Okay, I'll try to be here." I figured he just meant he would try to be around. So I said, "Okay, well, if not we'll just talk another time." At this point he tells me, "you're not understanding me, I'll try to be here." I mean, come on, seriously? Whatever, I'm done talking about it now.
On another note, my 21st birthday was awesome. I didn't really get a chance to tell you guys about it. I got all dressed up and went to Quizzo at Applebee's with about 10 friends. We all had a pretty good time. I got insanely hammered. The drinks of the night included: (in order)
#1 - A mudslide - I ordered this drink and the waiter asked, in front of my friends who are trying to get me wasted, "Would you like to make that a Mucho for a dollar more?" Unanimously, my friends say, "Yes! Mucho!" So, I had that.
#2 - A red-headed slut. - My friends told me I had to order a shot, this is the one that was chosen.
#3 - A pickleback. - If you're like and any of my friends, you have never heard of a pickleback. This is a shot of Jack Daniel's followed immediately by a shot of pickle juice. If you like pickles, it's not bad. Kind of dangerous because, you don't really taste the Jack at all after the pickle juice.
#4 - A mind eraser. - This one was suggested by an acquaintance at Quizzo and then consumed. Not a great drink but, it will do what it's advertised to do.
#5 - Tequila. - 5 shots of it to be exact.
**At this point, I was intoxicated. And then we all went to a different bar. A bar that is now called, "Mad Macs." It used to be known as Matilda's. So, I get there, tell the bartender it's my 21st birthday and the drinks started flowing. Again**
#6 - A blowjob shot. - Which again, I had never heard of. This is a shot glass of Baileys served inside of a martini glass. So, it's a martini glass with a smaller glass of Baileys inside of it. Then covered in whipped cream. The idea of the drink is to put your hands behind your back and try to grab the shot glass out of the whipped cream using only your mouth.
At about this time, I don't really remember much else. I remember one of the DJs, Xixa, buying me a shot but I can't remember what it was. I ended up losing my ID. First night out, already lost the ID. Haha.
So yeah, that's been my week. Pretty much. I've decided not to divulge too many details about this new guy until something becomes more concrete with him.
Okay, all. I love you guys to no imaginable extent. And I will try to talk to you guys more following this blog. No promises though.
Love,
Jenny-Lynn. <3
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