Hey all!
I know it's been way too long and I am sorrryyy.
I guess I should start off with the basics. School is ... not so good. Not that I don't love it or anything like that, but my I am having some difficulties with the school that I have to sort out. Pretty much, my attendance fell below the allowed percentage by 8 percentage points and now I have to appeal to get back into the program. So, there is that.
Work is great. I love my job and the people I work with. Everything is so relaxed and everyone is so chill. It's definitely a different pace than I'm used to.
The kitten is getting way too big and the dog is turning a year old in about 4 days.
So now for the good stuff!
Friendships: I'm starting to really realize who I want to keep in my life and who I wouldn't mind letting go. I have always had a grasp on that sort of thing, but I sort of lost it for a little while. And lately I've gained it back a lot. I'm really happy with the people in my life now. =]
Romance: I am so happy to be where I am in my life in the romantic sense. I know who I am, where I want to go with my life, and who I want that special guy to be. I also am pretty sure I have actually talked to this man multiple times. I thought it might have been this guy that I've known forever. I thought, yeah, this has to be right. That's the old story. Best friends become lovers become soul mates. However, when I told this person how I felt about them, after years of them chasing me by the way, they sort of ... stopped talking to me. Not altogether, don't get me wrong. Just enough for me to get the hint. It was the chase. And I'm okay with that now. I wasn't so much then, but I realized something, I would rather get the hint now and move on and still love him then to keep pressing and make a big deal out of it and lose someone way too important to me.
On a positive note, there is someone. Once again, I won't mention any names because I have found that opening my mouth ...err..fingers? .. whatever, and blogging about the guy I'm talking to seems to blow up in my face. However, I will tell you this. He's a teacher. He's 26. He's really cute. He's funny. He's excitable like me! I have a school girl crush on him. He says he has a crush on me as well. He's incredibly fun to be around. And I haven't stopped thinking about him since we met. =] He made a huge impact on me and I'm not exactly sure why or what specific detail sparked it, but I like it.
Family: I've been a lot closer to my family since that last entry. My mom saw it, and she cried. Then she showed pretty much everyone mentioned in it. Unfortunately, I forgot one. It was my grandparents. My Mommom and Poppi. I don't have the relationship with them that I would like, and it's mostly because I don't have a car to get over there whenever I want to. But, it's also because, I feel like I disappoint them. I feel like a total failure in comparison to my cousins and my aunt and my uncle...I feel like I'm the fuck up kid. I'm the one who didn't go to college and get a real job. I work and live pay check to pay check. I'm not exactly the prettiest girl in the world and I know they wanted me to be gorgeous like I was as a kid. I'm not the skinniest of girls either. I have tattoos and used to have piercings. I wanted to tell them that I wish they could accept me for who I am. The tattooed massage therapist who is okay with herself and her looks and who isn't financially stable...I miss them a lot. =/
I guess that's really all I have to say today.
Here's a quote I really like..
"I can sum up all I have learned about life in three words: It goes on." -Robert Frost.
I just want to be there, when we're caught in the rain. I just want to see you laugh, not cry. I just want to feel you when the night puts on its cloak. A loss for words, don't tell me. Cuz all I can say, I love you till the end.
I can't escape, I love you till the end.
Jenny-Lynn. <3
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