June 23, 2011.

Hey all. I guess let's start with an apology. I know I keep waiting forever to write to you guys and lately when I have written it was just, blah. I haven't been opening up to you guys as much as I would like to. So, here we go.
The past couple days have been harder for me than they should have been. I hate that this is having to be written but, if I want to be honest with myself, it does. Jon left me.
The one guy that has made me so happy and showed me what it felt like to be 100% at the top of my world. And, he's gone. No one did anything wrong. No cheating, no lying, no screaming fights. He just didn't want this anymore. At least not for now. My friends are trying to be helpful but of course, they're not. They're saying things like:
"No offense, but I think he left you for another girl. This is just too weird."
"Oh well, he's a douchebag."
"You were only dating like, a month. Let it go."
To combat these remarks, I'd like to say this. First off, he didn't leave me for another girl. He left me because he doesn't know what he wants. He can't figure out if this awesome thing that was happening between us is as awesome as he'd like it to be. And if he was leaving me for another girl, hearing you say it doesn't help me. Believe it or not, it hits a spot way down deep that just makes it all worse. Second, he is not a douchebag. He is the sweetest, most caring, most amazing, funniest, greatest guy. He deserves to be happy more than anyone I have ever known. And if I'm not what or who is doing that for him, then I want him to go find who or what will. And lastly, to quote one of my newest friends, the heart can't tell how long it's been. It just knows what it feels and how strongly it feels it. When I met Jon, alarms went off, the light bulb came on, and I realized that is what I had been missing out on with all the other losers and low-lifes and cheaters and liars. I had been missing the person that makes me want to wake up in the morning and just be a better person. He is the one I want to lay down next to at night and wake up next to the next morning. He keeps me going through out the day. Even the bad days. He's the reason I just shrug off the little annoyances and just focus on the good in life. The reason I am saying "is" instead of "was" is simply because he still is that person. If there was one thing I could say to him right now it would be this...
Jon, you are an amazing man. You have a great sense of humor, you're sweet, you're honest, and have an overall kick ass personality. Not to mention, look at you. You're hot. And with all that being said, I hope you find what it is that is going to make you happy. I hope you can fill that emptiness inside of you and reignite the passion for life. I wish I could have been the one to do that for you, and maybe one day I will be. I'm glad to say I know you and I always will be. I miss you so much and I am constantly hoping that whatever you're doing, wherever you're doing it, and whomever you're doing it with, that you're happy. And I hope that you think about me and the brief yet amazing time we spent together. I love you just as much now, if not more, than I did when I first met you.

And for the rest of you out there in the blog world, I love you too. You're always there for me when I need you and you never nag at me to do more for you.
Love,
Jenny-Lynn <3

April Fools Day

It is April Fool's Day today. One of my least favorite days of the year. I am far too gullible and naive for the world to have a day when it is acceptable, no, encouraged for people to "pull one over on me." I've been tricked so many times over the years, I refuse to recant all or any of them. I'm usually a good sport about these things but in the end, it annoys me. Not that they are pulling the pranks but that I am still too gullible to recognize when this is happening. I mean, come on! How many times does someone have to say "You dropped your pocket." before I realize that looking down is a dumb idea. I say all of this to assure you that what I say next is in no way a prank or joke. I have decided after just 3 days of writing this blog that I can't do it. Not every day at least. Not that it matters,  no one reads this thing anyway. But I have decided to go ahead and put it in writing that I will only be writing every other day. Or if I have something pressing on my mind that I cant stop thinking about, consuming my thoughts, eating away at my soul. Ya know, that sort of thing.
Change has been officially announced and I shall see you all on Sunday or Monday.
Love,
Jenny-Lynn <3