So yesterday's blog was a little difficult for me to write. I'm not used to sharing personal information with people I know, let alone the internet abyss where I have no idea who is reading this. I guess let's start today with where I am mentally. I wore a bunch of makeup and I felt pretty good about myself for a while. But, of course, because of who I am and where I am emotionally, the fun never lasts.
Somehow, I always find a way to make myself miserable. I hate it. For instance, today I tried to go out with Josh* and when I found out the one place I wanted to go didn't accept credit cards (Josh's only means of currency at this point) I got genuinely upset. It wasn't his fault but I got really upset. I was able to calm myself down and apologize but it still put a huge damper on the day.
Last night, at school, I was listening to the lecture portion of the class, and the teacher doing it said something that I never realized would have annoyed me. She said, "Don't be a statistic..." and then went on with what her point. Unfortunately, that phrase irritated me more than anything else she said. And she said some pretty ridiculous things. For example, "Have you ever been to Greece? It's warmer than Europe." Excuse me, ma'am, Greece is part of Europe. Anyway, what annoyed me about her telling the class not to be a statistic was no matter what you do, you will always be a statistic. If you become a teen mom, you are a statistic, if not, you're still a statistic. You're just the other side of the statistic. If 2 in 4 teens become parents, and you don't, you're just part of the 1/2 of the population that doesn't. I don't know why that frustrated me so much, but it did.
Ok, on to the next topic. I heard a quote last night that I really like, as opposed to having it annoy the crap out of me. "Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its pupils." According to the person I heard it from it was an anonymous quote, but thanks to Google, I have discovered a man named Hector Berlioz is accredited with this quote.
I got to hang out with a great friend of mine last night as well. One of our stops was to the McDonald's drive-thru where we were greeted with, and I quote, "You wanna try a muthafuckin chocolate shake?" Followed immediately, IMMEDIATELY, by "You gonna order?" My friend and I sat there, shocked, for a couple of seconds. Laughing a little, my friend continued to ask the woman, "Do you guys have a late night menu or is the entire menu available?" It just stayed silent. "Ok, can I get a number 8 with extra pickles?" .....silence....I don't think either of us have ever laughed that hard. We agreed that the appropriate response was probably anger but we couldn't stop laughing long enough to try it.
Let's get to the personal section. Today's self-esteem levels are a little higher than yesterday, which scares me. That usually means, in my world, that it will get higher and higher until it just crashes into a million different shards of self-pity. I guess there's really not that much to write about today, so I'm going to go ahead and sign off.
Love,
Jenny-Lynn. <3
