Not much to talk about, again. I'm just sitting here watching my dog and cat play. It's quite adorable.
I have been thinking a lot about what quote I was going to use for you guys today, and I think I'm going to go with this one:
"If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it." -John Lennon.
And here's why; I love this quote. It genuinely makes me laugh when I tell people that I believe in myself or that I don't doubt what it is I'm doing, I get deemed conceited. I'm not conceited at all. Actually, quite the contrary, I'm actually pretty self-conscious most of the time. But, if I'm doing something that I know I'm good at and I say it out loud, that doesn't make me narcissistic, or vain, or conceited, or any of those things. What John Lennon is saying is that he's going to believe in himself and in his own abilities and if he is called an "egomaniac" so be it.
Sometimes in life, you have to be your own cheerleader. And, I think that society has deemed that as unacceptable. Which is sad, because sometimes you need to cheer for yourself. I say do it. I say shout it out. I say give 'em hell. You're amazing and you should show it. =]
I love you guys, and I hope you enjoy these little rambling posts.
Jenny-Lynn. <3
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
July 25, 2011.
Today won't be much writing for you guys to endure. Just a quote for you guys, like I promised in the last blog.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.-- Mahatma Gandhi"
Its crazy to me that we think that we're being so strong when someone wrongs us and we hold onto that. We think, "Yeah, I'm still mad at you, this hurts doesn't it?" But, in reality, the stronger ones are the ones who can forgive and let go. They're the ones who can say, "Okay, you wronged me, but holding onto this is toxic." You cannot be weak to forgive someone. I love this quote because it rings true to me. Anger doesn't equal strength.
I love you guys.
Jenny-Lynn. <3
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.-- Mahatma Gandhi"
Its crazy to me that we think that we're being so strong when someone wrongs us and we hold onto that. We think, "Yeah, I'm still mad at you, this hurts doesn't it?" But, in reality, the stronger ones are the ones who can forgive and let go. They're the ones who can say, "Okay, you wronged me, but holding onto this is toxic." You cannot be weak to forgive someone. I love this quote because it rings true to me. Anger doesn't equal strength.
I love you guys.
Jenny-Lynn. <3
Sunday, July 24, 2011
July 24, 2011.
Hello all! So, today is a day that I can write something I haven't been able to write in a long time. I'm at peace with myself. After months, years even, of being upset and angry and emotional, I am finally at a place where I can take a breath and be happy. =]
Nothing major has changed. Still in school, which I love, still unemployed, and still single. But, I'm on a job hunt and I'm okay with maybe not finding a job until I graduate. I'm just looking to see if maybe I can find something beforehand. Being single isn't terrible anymore. I get to hang out with whoever I want, whenever I want, and there's no hard feelings with anyone or fighting with someone I care about.
Everyone and their brothers know that I was having a hard time coping with some recent upsets in my life, and I'm glad to be out of that place.
People have asked me how I did it and how I could be so upset one day and the next, just be totally fine with my life. It's simple, actually. I started working on myself. Working out, trying to be the person I always wanted people to see me as, and it's working. I was able to say, "Okay, this happened and it hurts. But, what can I do about it?"
This may sound like something you don't have to say, but you can't change the past. A lot of people think that by dwelling on one particular event, somehow they can change how it happened or at least how they handled it. You can't. That event took place, you handled it the way you handled it, and now the only thing you can change is how you let it affect the rest of your life. Constantly living in that place of your mind will only make you relive that painful moment over and over again. Or you could leave that memory in the past where it belongs and move on. Which is what I did.
For the people who have read this and said that I was "pining" over a certain someone, you're obviously not reading the same blog I am writing. This is the only place in my life where I can be completely honest about how I'm feeling about everything that's happening in my life. The good and the bad. So, that's what I do. I write whatever comes to my mind and hope that at the end of the post, the string of letters before me on the computer screen makes some sort of sense. Lately, I've needed to vent a few things about that certain someone, but that's over now. I'm glad to have him as a friend in my life and that's all I could ask for. =]
A person who reads this blog asked me why I always say "I love you" at the end of my blogs, and if it was to anyone in particular. It is, actually. It's to you. It's to the one who sits through my incessant rambling and tries to make sense of it in your head. It's to the one who relates to what I write and nods their head in agreement as they pore over their computer screens. I say "I love you" to the people who actively try to decipher what I'm trying to say. And I say it because I mean it.
He also asked me, "If you had to choose one phrase or saying or quote to live by, what would it be?"
My answer to that is not so simple. The thing is, I don't want to live by something that someone else once said. I am pretty sure what he meant by that question was if there were any quotes that inspired me. And to that question, yes there are. I'll share some with you guys over the course of the next few blogs.
That's all for today.
I love you.
Jenny-Lynn. <3
" There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain." -Audrey Hepburn
Nothing major has changed. Still in school, which I love, still unemployed, and still single. But, I'm on a job hunt and I'm okay with maybe not finding a job until I graduate. I'm just looking to see if maybe I can find something beforehand. Being single isn't terrible anymore. I get to hang out with whoever I want, whenever I want, and there's no hard feelings with anyone or fighting with someone I care about.
Everyone and their brothers know that I was having a hard time coping with some recent upsets in my life, and I'm glad to be out of that place.
People have asked me how I did it and how I could be so upset one day and the next, just be totally fine with my life. It's simple, actually. I started working on myself. Working out, trying to be the person I always wanted people to see me as, and it's working. I was able to say, "Okay, this happened and it hurts. But, what can I do about it?"
This may sound like something you don't have to say, but you can't change the past. A lot of people think that by dwelling on one particular event, somehow they can change how it happened or at least how they handled it. You can't. That event took place, you handled it the way you handled it, and now the only thing you can change is how you let it affect the rest of your life. Constantly living in that place of your mind will only make you relive that painful moment over and over again. Or you could leave that memory in the past where it belongs and move on. Which is what I did.
For the people who have read this and said that I was "pining" over a certain someone, you're obviously not reading the same blog I am writing. This is the only place in my life where I can be completely honest about how I'm feeling about everything that's happening in my life. The good and the bad. So, that's what I do. I write whatever comes to my mind and hope that at the end of the post, the string of letters before me on the computer screen makes some sort of sense. Lately, I've needed to vent a few things about that certain someone, but that's over now. I'm glad to have him as a friend in my life and that's all I could ask for. =]
A person who reads this blog asked me why I always say "I love you" at the end of my blogs, and if it was to anyone in particular. It is, actually. It's to you. It's to the one who sits through my incessant rambling and tries to make sense of it in your head. It's to the one who relates to what I write and nods their head in agreement as they pore over their computer screens. I say "I love you" to the people who actively try to decipher what I'm trying to say. And I say it because I mean it.
He also asked me, "If you had to choose one phrase or saying or quote to live by, what would it be?"
My answer to that is not so simple. The thing is, I don't want to live by something that someone else once said. I am pretty sure what he meant by that question was if there were any quotes that inspired me. And to that question, yes there are. I'll share some with you guys over the course of the next few blogs.
That's all for today.
I love you.
Jenny-Lynn. <3
" There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain." -Audrey Hepburn
Sunday, July 17, 2011
July 17, 2011.
Hey all! So yes, I know, it's been way longer than it should have been since the last time I wrote to you. But, I've been thinking about you all! I promise.
What? You don't believe me? >_<
So, life is good as of right now. I've been hanging out with some really awesome people lately. I'm friends with everyone in my class again. And I just .. feel happy. I feel fulfilled.
Jon still pops into my mind every once in a while and I still think about how it was with him. But, I've come to terms with the fact that he's not ready for a relationship with me, and I don't deserve any less that someone who is not only willing and ready, but someone who yearns for me. Every once in a while, he'll like my status, or comment on a post or something, and I think about him. And every once in a while when I see his name, I get a little sad. But, then I remember that love lost is better than to never love. And I remember that he's happy. And that makes me happy. In short, he will always have a place in my heart but I will not allow that place to fill up my entire being. =]
As I said, I've been hanging out with some cool people lately. They've all helped me to realize that I am special and that I have a lot to offer this world. A couple of them stand out more to me than everyone else. I don't really know how to explain it. I know I don't want a serious relationship right now. But, there is a certain someone out there who is really making me second guess that decision...
I had one guy, who I barely knew, tell me that he was in love with me. Of course, I did a huge, "whoa! what?!" And we haven't really spoken much since. I didn't mean to hurt him, but he caught me off guard. Not something I was expecting. He keeps telling me that he's sorry he said it but he really feels it. And I keep telling him to stop saying it. First off, we knew each other a while ago. I've changed since then. Second, when we did know each other, it was only a work relationship. There was no personal relationship there. Third, I haven't talked to him in about a year and a half. Lastly, I've only been reconnected with him for about 2 weeks. It's weird. But, I dont know. I digress.
So, yeah, life is good right now. I just hope it stays this way. <3
And as always, know that I love you and I think about you constantly. Know that you are the reason I wake up in the morning, and you're what I think about at night. You're perfect, and I would never change you. <3
Love,
Jenny-Lynn.
What? You don't believe me? >_<
So, life is good as of right now. I've been hanging out with some really awesome people lately. I'm friends with everyone in my class again. And I just .. feel happy. I feel fulfilled.
Jon still pops into my mind every once in a while and I still think about how it was with him. But, I've come to terms with the fact that he's not ready for a relationship with me, and I don't deserve any less that someone who is not only willing and ready, but someone who yearns for me. Every once in a while, he'll like my status, or comment on a post or something, and I think about him. And every once in a while when I see his name, I get a little sad. But, then I remember that love lost is better than to never love. And I remember that he's happy. And that makes me happy. In short, he will always have a place in my heart but I will not allow that place to fill up my entire being. =]
As I said, I've been hanging out with some cool people lately. They've all helped me to realize that I am special and that I have a lot to offer this world. A couple of them stand out more to me than everyone else. I don't really know how to explain it. I know I don't want a serious relationship right now. But, there is a certain someone out there who is really making me second guess that decision...
I had one guy, who I barely knew, tell me that he was in love with me. Of course, I did a huge, "whoa! what?!" And we haven't really spoken much since. I didn't mean to hurt him, but he caught me off guard. Not something I was expecting. He keeps telling me that he's sorry he said it but he really feels it. And I keep telling him to stop saying it. First off, we knew each other a while ago. I've changed since then. Second, when we did know each other, it was only a work relationship. There was no personal relationship there. Third, I haven't talked to him in about a year and a half. Lastly, I've only been reconnected with him for about 2 weeks. It's weird. But, I dont know. I digress.
So, yeah, life is good right now. I just hope it stays this way. <3
And as always, know that I love you and I think about you constantly. Know that you are the reason I wake up in the morning, and you're what I think about at night. You're perfect, and I would never change you. <3
Love,
Jenny-Lynn.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
June 30, 2011.
Hey guys.
It's been about a week since the last time I stopped by and checked in you. Hope everyone out there is doing good.
So, here's been what's going on in my world.
Me and Jon...sorry, Jon and I....are still not together. I was hoping we would fix things but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. I got a cat. =] I'll post a picture of him and my dog. Reminder, my dog's name is Lacey. The kitten's name is Boba Catt. <3 I love him.
Picture of them:
I have this empty feeling sometimes in the pit of my stomach. This dread that I might never find someone that is going to stick around. I hate this feeling. I am constantly thinking...what did I do wrong? What's wrong with me? Why couldn't he stay with me? Who is it he's looking for? How could it have been different? Could I have done more? Less? Maybe I called him too much...or maybe I didn't call him enough. Maybe it was my chipped tooth that turned him off. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just not worth the love of another. Maybe, just maybe, this world would be better off without me...maybe.
But, the world would be terrible without you. I would miss you terrible. I love you. <3
Love,
Jenny-Lynn. <3
It's been about a week since the last time I stopped by and checked in you. Hope everyone out there is doing good.
So, here's been what's going on in my world.
Me and Jon...sorry, Jon and I....are still not together. I was hoping we would fix things but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. I got a cat. =] I'll post a picture of him and my dog. Reminder, my dog's name is Lacey. The kitten's name is Boba Catt. <3 I love him.
Picture of them:
I have this empty feeling sometimes in the pit of my stomach. This dread that I might never find someone that is going to stick around. I hate this feeling. I am constantly thinking...what did I do wrong? What's wrong with me? Why couldn't he stay with me? Who is it he's looking for? How could it have been different? Could I have done more? Less? Maybe I called him too much...or maybe I didn't call him enough. Maybe it was my chipped tooth that turned him off. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just not worth the love of another. Maybe, just maybe, this world would be better off without me...maybe.
But, the world would be terrible without you. I would miss you terrible. I love you. <3
Love,
Jenny-Lynn. <3
Thursday, June 23, 2011
June 23, 2011.
Hey all. I guess let's start with an apology. I know I keep waiting forever to write to you guys and lately when I have written it was just, blah. I haven't been opening up to you guys as much as I would like to. So, here we go.
The past couple days have been harder for me than they should have been. I hate that this is having to be written but, if I want to be honest with myself, it does. Jon left me.
The one guy that has made me so happy and showed me what it felt like to be 100% at the top of my world. And, he's gone. No one did anything wrong. No cheating, no lying, no screaming fights. He just didn't want this anymore. At least not for now. My friends are trying to be helpful but of course, they're not. They're saying things like:
"No offense, but I think he left you for another girl. This is just too weird."
"Oh well, he's a douchebag."
"You were only dating like, a month. Let it go."
To combat these remarks, I'd like to say this. First off, he didn't leave me for another girl. He left me because he doesn't know what he wants. He can't figure out if this awesome thing that was happening between us is as awesome as he'd like it to be. And if he was leaving me for another girl, hearing you say it doesn't help me. Believe it or not, it hits a spot way down deep that just makes it all worse. Second, he is not a douchebag. He is the sweetest, most caring, most amazing, funniest, greatest guy. He deserves to be happy more than anyone I have ever known. And if I'm not what or who is doing that for him, then I want him to go find who or what will. And lastly, to quote one of my newest friends, the heart can't tell how long it's been. It just knows what it feels and how strongly it feels it. When I met Jon, alarms went off, the light bulb came on, and I realized that is what I had been missing out on with all the other losers and low-lifes and cheaters and liars. I had been missing the person that makes me want to wake up in the morning and just be a better person. He is the one I want to lay down next to at night and wake up next to the next morning. He keeps me going through out the day. Even the bad days. He's the reason I just shrug off the little annoyances and just focus on the good in life. The reason I am saying "is" instead of "was" is simply because he still is that person. If there was one thing I could say to him right now it would be this...
Jon, you are an amazing man. You have a great sense of humor, you're sweet, you're honest, and have an overall kick ass personality. Not to mention, look at you. You're hot. And with all that being said, I hope you find what it is that is going to make you happy. I hope you can fill that emptiness inside of you and reignite the passion for life. I wish I could have been the one to do that for you, and maybe one day I will be. I'm glad to say I know you and I always will be. I miss you so much and I am constantly hoping that whatever you're doing, wherever you're doing it, and whomever you're doing it with, that you're happy. And I hope that you think about me and the brief yet amazing time we spent together. I love you just as much now, if not more, than I did when I first met you.
And for the rest of you out there in the blog world, I love you too. You're always there for me when I need you and you never nag at me to do more for you.
Love,
Jenny-Lynn <3
The past couple days have been harder for me than they should have been. I hate that this is having to be written but, if I want to be honest with myself, it does. Jon left me.
The one guy that has made me so happy and showed me what it felt like to be 100% at the top of my world. And, he's gone. No one did anything wrong. No cheating, no lying, no screaming fights. He just didn't want this anymore. At least not for now. My friends are trying to be helpful but of course, they're not. They're saying things like:
"No offense, but I think he left you for another girl. This is just too weird."
"Oh well, he's a douchebag."
"You were only dating like, a month. Let it go."
To combat these remarks, I'd like to say this. First off, he didn't leave me for another girl. He left me because he doesn't know what he wants. He can't figure out if this awesome thing that was happening between us is as awesome as he'd like it to be. And if he was leaving me for another girl, hearing you say it doesn't help me. Believe it or not, it hits a spot way down deep that just makes it all worse. Second, he is not a douchebag. He is the sweetest, most caring, most amazing, funniest, greatest guy. He deserves to be happy more than anyone I have ever known. And if I'm not what or who is doing that for him, then I want him to go find who or what will. And lastly, to quote one of my newest friends, the heart can't tell how long it's been. It just knows what it feels and how strongly it feels it. When I met Jon, alarms went off, the light bulb came on, and I realized that is what I had been missing out on with all the other losers and low-lifes and cheaters and liars. I had been missing the person that makes me want to wake up in the morning and just be a better person. He is the one I want to lay down next to at night and wake up next to the next morning. He keeps me going through out the day. Even the bad days. He's the reason I just shrug off the little annoyances and just focus on the good in life. The reason I am saying "is" instead of "was" is simply because he still is that person. If there was one thing I could say to him right now it would be this...
Jon, you are an amazing man. You have a great sense of humor, you're sweet, you're honest, and have an overall kick ass personality. Not to mention, look at you. You're hot. And with all that being said, I hope you find what it is that is going to make you happy. I hope you can fill that emptiness inside of you and reignite the passion for life. I wish I could have been the one to do that for you, and maybe one day I will be. I'm glad to say I know you and I always will be. I miss you so much and I am constantly hoping that whatever you're doing, wherever you're doing it, and whomever you're doing it with, that you're happy. And I hope that you think about me and the brief yet amazing time we spent together. I love you just as much now, if not more, than I did when I first met you.
And for the rest of you out there in the blog world, I love you too. You're always there for me when I need you and you never nag at me to do more for you.
Love,
Jenny-Lynn <3
Sunday, June 19, 2011
June 20, 2011.
Holy shit. So, the weekend starts off with some doucher telling me he wants a massage then not being home for his appointment. At this point I'm almost on E in my car and was depending on the money from said massage to get gas to go to school that night. But, of course....
Then, Jon picks me up, and guess who gets the worst migraine of her natural born life? This girl.
Go home, wake up Friday morning, go to a job interview. In which they tell me that I'm a great candidate for the job, that they're going to push my application through but at the very end of the interview tell me that the position is for nights and weekends....-_-
Right on my application it said that I was not available nights because of school. Why would they even interview me?! Whatever. Friday night, I go to Jon's.
Saturday morning. Wake up, play some board games, hang out with Jon, go to his cousin's graduation party, go home, do nothing all night. Fight with and almost lost Jon. Made up. =]
Today! My favorite day of the weekend. Wake up at Jon's with Laceybug. (my dog.) <3 Whom we picked up last night because I missed her. Get dressed and all that mess, go to Jon's grandparent's house for a little fathers day celebration. Went out to eat with my dad and brother. =] Then, we went swimming with Jon and his friends.
This brings us to the epitome of my evening. Finding out that one of my BEST friends is now dating someone. Who happens to be my cousin. The one who has hated me since forever ago. Not only that but he's so delusional that he thinks that she's going to be totally okay with our friendship. I mean, hello! we almost dated! There were feelings involved. And there's already a long history of distrust between me and my cousin. My cousin and I. Whatever. Me and my best friend were supposed to do a hilarious video together for his YouTube channel. However, that will no longer be happening because even though MY significant other finds it totally non-threatening, his will not. Simply put, I think I just lost another great friend. =/
But, at least I still have you. I love you for sticking through it all with me. <3
Love,
Jenny-Lynn. <3
Then, Jon picks me up, and guess who gets the worst migraine of her natural born life? This girl.
Go home, wake up Friday morning, go to a job interview. In which they tell me that I'm a great candidate for the job, that they're going to push my application through but at the very end of the interview tell me that the position is for nights and weekends....-_-
Right on my application it said that I was not available nights because of school. Why would they even interview me?! Whatever. Friday night, I go to Jon's.
Saturday morning. Wake up, play some board games, hang out with Jon, go to his cousin's graduation party, go home, do nothing all night. Fight with and almost lost Jon. Made up. =]
Today! My favorite day of the weekend. Wake up at Jon's with Laceybug. (my dog.) <3 Whom we picked up last night because I missed her. Get dressed and all that mess, go to Jon's grandparent's house for a little fathers day celebration. Went out to eat with my dad and brother. =] Then, we went swimming with Jon and his friends.
This brings us to the epitome of my evening. Finding out that one of my BEST friends is now dating someone. Who happens to be my cousin. The one who has hated me since forever ago. Not only that but he's so delusional that he thinks that she's going to be totally okay with our friendship. I mean, hello! we almost dated! There were feelings involved. And there's already a long history of distrust between me and my cousin. My cousin and I. Whatever. Me and my best friend were supposed to do a hilarious video together for his YouTube channel. However, that will no longer be happening because even though MY significant other finds it totally non-threatening, his will not. Simply put, I think I just lost another great friend. =/
But, at least I still have you. I love you for sticking through it all with me. <3
Love,
Jenny-Lynn. <3
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